Hello Friends, I can't believe you actually did it !!!!! Now get ready to get bore …..yawn !! First off, some words abt my nature, though in reality I'm appeared to be opposite, but secretly and truthfully, I'm absolutely outspoken, not feared to tell you my truest feelings and possess an open-mind, so much open that people regard me as a 'man' wherever I go….hey only on net (Do I look like manly in my pic?). Frankly, I get happy when people respond to me as a male, that gives me a sense of 'equal'.

Ok now my basics… but why we always have to write about our backgrounds, our jobs and degrees and qualifications. Is it really possible to judge a person purely on his nature, character, thoughts and intentions, through his values and beliefs etc.? Do we only have to judge a person on his materialistic gains? Anyway, basic info does play an important role in guessing a person's nature but a wiser is one who judges a person on his potentiality.

OK what I do for my living? I'm a kindergarten teacher. Yes, my profession is teaching but I learn from my students as well. I admire their pure, innocent natures who will love you by who you are and not by what you possess. This quality in kids has attracted me a lot and learnt a lot from them. I think they're the good judgers. Personally I don't believe in judging anyone. How can we judge the 'realities' of experiences of a person?

Academically, presently I'm studying 'BBA' majoring in E-commerce. It will finish in Sept. 2002 and till then I've no plans to marry - please note that !!!!!!!! Side by side I study for my MBA as well.

My future materialistic goal - to become a businesswoman and to make lotsa money. But my ultimate desire is to open up a 'Peaceful Organization" to spread peace in this world OR some welfare or charitable organization and spent rest of my life serving needy people OR at least before I die I'd donate all my money to charitable institutions. Why? Because I believe this is not my money but peoples and I'd return to them - of course to people who deserve and need it most. And what about my children??? Don't worry they're independent creatures and know how to survive on their own, they don't need their mama's money ?

Let me tell you some of my thoughts from marriage perspective …….

Why we marry? In a nutshell, we want to be happy and we believe that our potential partners will make us happy! Thru marriage one seeks growth, inspiration to do their best and even spirituality thru their partners. We all need that 'love' to feel important and to know 'someone' on this earth truly loves us, trusts us, rely on us and believes in us. We also believe that the other half will understand us better.

Why I want to marry? For the sake of "LOVE" and of course for the same reasons everyone wants to marry. I want to be happy. Okay I'm selfish…then everybody is!!! I want to be happy and make him happy as well..there where my happiness lies. Some one for whom I can go crazy, love him madly (this is the ideal love); to put a smile on his face will make me happy; some one to get so close, to get intimate and talk my mind, my heart without thinking twice! Someone I believe who'd understand me and who he believes in what I do and think is right. Someone who believes in my humanistic nature and desires and gives his support to make it a reality, inspire me, make me strong and to make me believe more in myself !!

For me marriage is not merely bodily pleasure. For me through 'sex' is to get close to each other's heart, to prove our love to each other, to merge our souls into 'one' and to develop complete trust through that process.

Of course marriage is not only gaining our selfish needs and desires. But it is to think of the other partner more than yourself. That's how 'true love' develops and we've to keep it nurturing through our caring natures. Marriage is a 'team' to work toward both's common goals and desires. To try to make each other's dreams come true. To inspire each other and put our complete faith in them.

Hey wanna have some tips for successfool……..oops successful marriage? Ok here goes the list ……

1. First of all know that we all are from different countries, places, societies, family backgrounds, and thus having differing natures and world-views. To be successful in any relation is to understand this basic, so we know how to deal with the other. Instead of bringing our views in conflict, try to thoroughly enjoy each other's point of views and individualities. Even if your gal sounds stupid, say "wow! Darling what an unusual thought ! you really are one in a billion !" … lol (seriously)!

2. Be considerate, be sensitive to other's feelings and needs. If possible always try to cater to their needs> Make them feel important ?

3. Remember he/she is an individual and have their own feelings. Allow them their own space. Never intrude on their individuality. And believe what they do is right. Thru this relationship we seek to strengthen our own individuality and grow mutually.

4. Do not see yourself as merely husband and wife. Be friends and act as close buddies. Dash out your weird thoughts and enjoy each other's company.

I think these are the basic points to keep in mind to successfooly …err fully to keep your relations going.?

I've come across profiles where people seek 'unconditional love'. Sorry, I don't believe such love in this materialistic world. Take a simple e.g. will you keep on loving and respecting your partner (Of course without any change, no more or less) when you finds that your woman has an affair or sleeps with another guy???? If your ans is 'yes' …then that is unconditional love.

But I believe in 'true love'. When you truly love each other, there are no insatiable feelings to look on outside sources.

I will not hesitate to say that I want to live with my guy independently after marriage. This doesn't mean I don't like or respect in-laws. Tell me why sages and saints always meditate in an obscured secluded place? To keep away from distractions and concentrate on their minds and souls. Similary, how can we understand each other in presence of others? And think how can we love each other the way we want in presence of others??? Now I got a point ………….lol.

My other thoughts from social perspective,

Once I came across this message board and the question was 'Will you allow your child to marry someone with his/her own sex?" My first response flashed into my mind that "Who are "we" to allow?" Just because we brought them into this world.. struggled for their growth..? For me he's an individual first who has his own feelings and sense of right or wrong. I would give my sincere piece of advice and leave the rest to him to take his own decision and to be responsible. Why should I care this society if my child is not doing any harmful or immoral act. I believe in 'Let and let live'.

Lately I was thinking and got concerned about population. I tend to think what is the solution to this and is it really necessary to produce extra offsprings?? I definitely want to have my own kids but not necessarily biological. There are millions of homeless children whose lives are at stake. Why not adopt them? Does love necessarily comes thru blood relations? Then what about those brutal horrific cases of parents killing their own children and children hating/divorcing their own parents? Isn't it shocking? For me true love is when it comes from your heart. Love happens when you get close and understand them. I prefer to give a birth of my kid through heart n love than merely through body! And anyways, I don't possess extra-special genes that I'd surely produce some extra ordinary kid who'd be a future messiah !!!

There are some people who had liked and appreciated my thoughts. For them I'm matured. But frankly, I still think this is the beginning of my growing. I still have to keep on learning and growing. I'm in quest of "myself" and this search will never end. I always think I've to know myself first and then start looking for my soul mate. But tell me how can you understand yourself unless you understand others ??? Understanding comes from knowing other people and this nature. And most importantly self-understanding happens when you truly try to understand your soul mate. I'll always keep on learning and growing till my last breath!

Well I think it's enough babe !!!!! people are yawning……zzzzzzzzz…..

So once again use your intelligence. I'm not a normal gal and thus looking for some abnormal guy. Someone who's ABSOLUTELY OPEN-MINDED who not only have his world-views but also have the ability to see it from a universal point of view. I want my guy to be an independent individual.

Or if you're just curious to explore me more you are welcome to write me. Respond to me as a buddy and be cool ! Write at heart_of_a_humane at y a h o o. And don't lose heart if I don't fit into your category. There's a saying in hindi "If you keep on searching you can even find a God". Time is worth searching for something invaluable !!!

Bye and all the best,
From a caring creature,
Heart of a Humane

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